West Ham Have To Do It Again As Big Scare Of Bristols Ends In Stalemate

Well, this was not the kind of Sunday I had expected. It started bonkers enough already as I sort of attended the traditional Cordi indoors tournament that takes place on the first Sunday after New Year’s Day and features teams from all over East Hamburg. As I had to watch our cup tie against Bristol City though I only had time to watch about two games, have a cup of coffee and a chinwag with the former Cordi manager and a mate from my commentary days before making my slippery way back to my flat on frozen pavements and snowy footpaths. By all accounts Cordi won the trophy, however, the tournament was marred by some ugly scenes of fighting going on between the two finalists after one player had kicked out at his opponent in retaliation. Not something I would have wanted to stick around for anyway. Then again, our cup tie against the Robins was nothing to write home about really, to put it mildly.

The main highlight of the afternoon, apart from Bowen’s early goal, happened when our favourite cabbie BSB texted me. He was eager to remind me that we had met Bristol’s gaffer Liam Manning during one of my previous trips when he was still employed by West Ham as head coach for the stiffs. We had to go to one of the portakabins in order to enquire about a fixture of the U18s later that weekend we were planning to attend, so we wanted to play this by the book and make sure it was alright to watch the game, what with us being season ticket holders and all that. Mind you, when Manning heard I was German, he became suspicious that I might be a scout from Borussia Dortmund or such like, on a mission to snatch away West Ham’s best young players. It took us a bit of persuading, Manning made a phone call or two and in the end we were able to watch that game after all. I think my favourite youth player at the time, Dan Kemp, was playing in that fixture, but I digress.

You’ve heard the phrase ‘boring like watching paint dry’. Thinking back on yesterday’s game I would qualify the phrase by saying it very much depends what colour it is you’re in the process of watching. Yellow or magenta can be quite exciting colours to ogle while they’re drying. Our game against Bristol though was, in my opinion, unfortunately, really dull. Like watching a wall painted beige going from moist to slightly less so to 100% dry. Not for the first time either this season. Yes, I know we lost Paqueta and Mavropanos in the first half through injury. If it hadn’t been for Paqueta’s touch of genius early on, Bristol City’s ball may be firmly in next round’s draw later today. Still, we had pretty strong replacements on the pitch after that and our starting XI was the strongest team we could have picked to begin with.

But it doesn’t really seem to matter much who our opposition is these days, which league level they’re from or how we set up. The football is still pretty awful to watch. If this is me acting entitled, then so be it. Sue me! I was watching in reasonable comfort at home, tucked into a blanket, cup of Rosy and a biscuit at the ready and no public transport strikes to navigate. How about the fans though who had forked out for a ticket, braving the cold and the traffic to watch that ‘performance’ ?

We have now also lost Paqueta, Mavropanos and Bowen for at least two or three weeks each, I reckon, potentially longer. And instead of having 14 days without a fixture to recharge our team’s batteries until we face bottom club Sheffield United away, we now have to travel to Ashton Gate for the Cup replay, likely to be scheduled as early as Tuesday or Wednesday next week. We already know it’s going to be a rather random and makeshift starting XI for that one and I doubt we will have a new signing available for selection at that point to make much of a difference.

The name touted most prominently as our most likely January signing at this point is current Ajax winger and former Tottenham player Steven Bergwijn. Pacy, with a bit of PL experience under his belt, he sounds like a decent addition to the matching set of Ajax signings we already have at West Ham. Another player who comes at least with the creditable prospect of getting fans off their seats and get a bit excited. I have given up now on Moyes giving us exciting football, even if you put a World’s best XI on a plate for him in order to deliver football you can actually not afford to miss. I do get the call for stability and all that. But as much as football is a business, it also in general has a healthy dose of entertainment attached to it too. And there are plenty of teams out there that have shown that decent football and success on the pitch are things that do go together actually, they are not mutually exclusive.

At least I should have something to write about next Monday then. By then we should know the date and kick-off time of our replay at Bristol City. Or with a bit of luck have witnessed the arrival of our first new signing, holding a claret and blue shirt aloft while grinning into the camera. Or sitting next to Tim Steidten, holding a pen, with a shy smile on his boat. I’d rather write about that than to think up more witty puns containing references to great pairs of Bristols, that’s for sure! COYI!!!